parenting is always something that was an interest to me. Growing up I didn't have a nuclear family. I grew up in a family with step parents and trying to come together to make a family was never easy. I came from a family that I didn't agree with some of the things that they were doing and so I wanted to learn about it on my own. This is also why I love studying marriage as well. I love the idea of helping others and educating them and believe that if more people were educated in these things less problems would arise.

As we had to watch videos for this class, I learned so much. First, being a dictator to your kids will get you no where, it will just have them rebel even more and go the opposite way that you want them too. Second, looking for non verbal cues to open that line of communication is really important. Teens especially show signs all the time and if you take the time to be open with them you will have a better relationship with him. Third, writing letters to your spouse and children can be a powerful form of communication. I like how the man guy illustrated that in the videos. He said that staying positive and telling them their strengths will be a powerful tool and will affect them for the rest of their lives. I think that these are very powerful ways to help our kids and marriages. Parenting is never easy and every parent, family, and child is different but they need a solid foundation and a parent that will be active or give freedom with in limits. I believe in that so strongly because of again where I have come from. I learned a lot this week about this and of course always appreciate thoughts =D

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/hard-choice-for-moms-work-stay-home

I loved reading this article that I found. It amazed me how much guys at working that much anymore. It has dropped so much for guys because girls are choosing to work instead of being at home. My personal thoughts are that being a stay at home mother no matter how much money you lose is more important for the children in the long run then having all this money. Everything always works out and if moms need to go to work part tie is always great too. Every situation is different and I am not saying one is better than the other, but at the same time I worked in day cares I have seen what it does for children whose parents go to work all day while the kids go to school then day care. They never really get to spend time with their family. They never really create those bonds and more and more kids start to act out because they are looking for that attention.

Also, the mom can be creative while staying home. She can start her own business or teach the kids valuable things around the home. Since I am close to graduating, I have had a lot of roommates. The ones that always knew how to cook and do things around the apartment were the ones that had stay at home mothers who showed them things and now they can do things on their own. I think that is amazing. I admire the full time job workers and the stay at home mothers each in their own way are fighting to give their kids the best they can.

Communication is one of the biggest problems in marriage, because we all have different ways of communicating what we feel, but sometimes we don't need words. Like in this diagram it is all about body language and the tone of voice. But yet we all are always texting these days and use the internet to connect to people. The problem with that is that we make up our own person in our head. Because they always know exactly what to say to make you feel special. No wonder a lot of people use texting and the internet. It is like writing to your own diary except they write back exactly what you wanna hear. But this is not the best communication. We need to be in person. We need to talk on the phone we need to express what we are feeling through all types of communication.

In person is so important and I cant stress it enough. We get to know people in person as well as start to figure out their non verbal cues.

Lastly, remember in conversation that it is important to use "I statements" start by saying I feel.... that way you are not blaming who you are talking to and esp. your spouse. I changed my relationships with others and I know it can with yours as well.

In order to understand the ABCX model many scholars developed this in trying to help families to figure out stress and learn from it.
A- Stressor Event
B- Coping sources
C- Family's definition of the event
X-Total experience

I have used this in a couple of my classes and have found it very useful. I have learned that in order to progress and trigger what is going on using this helps a lot. Even with family situations.

IN the book it also talks about all the different types of abuse. One that is interesting to me because I work at the Family Crisis Center is women abuse. It is major in the U.S. and a lot of women suffer because of it. It is very damaging both emotional and physically. I remember my first day of my internship, I talked to a women who was in two abusive relationships and had to have her face reconstructed. What a sad experience to hear about. But these things are real and it happens everyday. Some mild some not, but we need to stop it. I am grateful that I am able to be involved in this, but at the same time we need to educate people so women will know. Go find your nearest Family Crisis Center and Volunteer.