This section is a very touchy subject for me. The reason being is because I have seen a lot of divorce in my life. My my parents to my mother and her ex husband. All around me I have seen what it does and how it effects not only children,but people are involved. In the book it talks a lot about what causes divorce. Some of them Included
- Communication problems
-Lack of emotional support
-unsatisfactory sex
-constant conflict
-financial problems
-alcohol or other drugs
-growing apart

Seeing this list I can attest how true it is. A lot of these problems are what I say in my family as well. But what are your thoughts? Do you Agree?

Secondly, since my dad got remarried I have had a step-mom in my life for a long time. The way we met was n a difficult situation, but we can and still love her to this day. Divorce is very hard on the children and effects them in more ways then one, but remarriage is also a blessing or can be. I for one was excited to have a family with more brothers and sisters.

But what are some of your experiences? What do you think about divorce and remarriage? any personal experiences?

parenting is always something that was an interest to me. Growing up I didn't have a nuclear family. I grew up in a family with step parents and trying to come together to make a family was never easy. I came from a family that I didn't agree with some of the things that they were doing and so I wanted to learn about it on my own. This is also why I love studying marriage as well. I love the idea of helping others and educating them and believe that if more people were educated in these things less problems would arise.

As we had to watch videos for this class, I learned so much. First, being a dictator to your kids will get you no where, it will just have them rebel even more and go the opposite way that you want them too. Second, looking for non verbal cues to open that line of communication is really important. Teens especially show signs all the time and if you take the time to be open with them you will have a better relationship with him. Third, writing letters to your spouse and children can be a powerful form of communication. I like how the man guy illustrated that in the videos. He said that staying positive and telling them their strengths will be a powerful tool and will affect them for the rest of their lives. I think that these are very powerful ways to help our kids and marriages. Parenting is never easy and every parent, family, and child is different but they need a solid foundation and a parent that will be active or give freedom with in limits. I believe in that so strongly because of again where I have come from. I learned a lot this week about this and of course always appreciate thoughts =D

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/hard-choice-for-moms-work-stay-home

I loved reading this article that I found. It amazed me how much guys at working that much anymore. It has dropped so much for guys because girls are choosing to work instead of being at home. My personal thoughts are that being a stay at home mother no matter how much money you lose is more important for the children in the long run then having all this money. Everything always works out and if moms need to go to work part tie is always great too. Every situation is different and I am not saying one is better than the other, but at the same time I worked in day cares I have seen what it does for children whose parents go to work all day while the kids go to school then day care. They never really get to spend time with their family. They never really create those bonds and more and more kids start to act out because they are looking for that attention.

Also, the mom can be creative while staying home. She can start her own business or teach the kids valuable things around the home. Since I am close to graduating, I have had a lot of roommates. The ones that always knew how to cook and do things around the apartment were the ones that had stay at home mothers who showed them things and now they can do things on their own. I think that is amazing. I admire the full time job workers and the stay at home mothers each in their own way are fighting to give their kids the best they can.

Communication is one of the biggest problems in marriage, because we all have different ways of communicating what we feel, but sometimes we don't need words. Like in this diagram it is all about body language and the tone of voice. But yet we all are always texting these days and use the internet to connect to people. The problem with that is that we make up our own person in our head. Because they always know exactly what to say to make you feel special. No wonder a lot of people use texting and the internet. It is like writing to your own diary except they write back exactly what you wanna hear. But this is not the best communication. We need to be in person. We need to talk on the phone we need to express what we are feeling through all types of communication.

In person is so important and I cant stress it enough. We get to know people in person as well as start to figure out their non verbal cues.

Lastly, remember in conversation that it is important to use "I statements" start by saying I feel.... that way you are not blaming who you are talking to and esp. your spouse. I changed my relationships with others and I know it can with yours as well.

In order to understand the ABCX model many scholars developed this in trying to help families to figure out stress and learn from it.
A- Stressor Event
B- Coping sources
C- Family's definition of the event
X-Total experience

I have used this in a couple of my classes and have found it very useful. I have learned that in order to progress and trigger what is going on using this helps a lot. Even with family situations.

IN the book it also talks about all the different types of abuse. One that is interesting to me because I work at the Family Crisis Center is women abuse. It is major in the U.S. and a lot of women suffer because of it. It is very damaging both emotional and physically. I remember my first day of my internship, I talked to a women who was in two abusive relationships and had to have her face reconstructed. What a sad experience to hear about. But these things are real and it happens everyday. Some mild some not, but we need to stop it. I am grateful that I am able to be involved in this, but at the same time we need to educate people so women will know. Go find your nearest Family Crisis Center and Volunteer.

"Moreover, teens move very quickly from dating to sex in their first romantic relationships; according to one study, almost one in three teens reported that they had sex in the same month or before their dating relationship began; another 35 percent reported that they initiated first sex within the first three months of their relationship. Sexually experienced teens are likely to have sex even earlier in a romantic relationship. And sexually experienced teens are inconsistent users of contraception. Thus, for many teens, puppy love hasn’t
disappeared. It’s been sexualized."

As I was reading this in my book, I was amazed at this statement. In our culture today a lot of teens what to grow up faster, they think that growing up and being able to do big people things and engaging in those acts will help them feel older and so forth, but in reality it is only damaging them. They miss their childhood because of it and the friendships they could have instead of rushing into love.

I also was takin back because it states that more teens are more likely to have sex in the puppy love phase because they think they are in love. When I was 17 I thought I was in love too, but the reality of it was that it was my first boyfriend and it was going to end at some point. He was just helping me progress and become who I was suppose to become. Also, a study showed that 95% of people have sex before they are married. REALLYYYY????? 95% of this world is forgetting what sex actually means and signifies. That's why there are so many abortions and many other things that are contributing to so many things. JUST WAIT. It'll be more worth it in the end. Less Heart breaks and feeling will not get hurt because of it. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2010/09/7-steps-to-raising-teen-who-wont-date/

This website shows parent 7 Steps to Raising A Teen Who Won't Date to Young.

Are you preparing for MARRIAGE or DIVORCE? That is the biggest question I want to address with y'all. As a girl, I have been taught that I should prepare by getting an education, getting into a career, getting ready in case anything happens by going to school and becoming the best I can be. Which all is a wonderful thing and we should all be trying to be the best we can be in life no matter what, but by doing so are we neglecting what matters most? Are we becoming so preoccupied by what we want we are not wanting to prepare for marriage as well?

In a movie that I cant for the life of me remember, but it opens with how it used to be back in the day where everyone got married so they could have sex and even kiss and now we give it up so freely that people don't want to get married. I found that really interesting. Why do we give it up so easily? Why when it comes to dating that as girls we want to hang out all the time instead of having girls date us. We just make it easier for them.

I believe that we need to flirt with guys and touch them and go on dates with them, but not make it easy for them. I know at college we have Sunday dinners sometimes with our guy friends. Yes, I make it easy for them and free food, but on the other hand if they want to see me they should ask me out. Getting married and dating can be difficult for some, but I know that it prepares us to get married. It also gives us that social interaction that we all need. I know that I have new goals and want to implement this in my life, because I want to prepare for marriage and stop worrying about what if this happens or that happens.

What are your thoughts?

What do you think of what you hear the phrase "falling in love"? As a girly girl it gets me all excited and I just get really happy. I love the idea of love and everything that comes with it. I love romantic as a result.

So today in class we talked about the steps that you should follow in order to have a successful relationship. These steps include:
                                                                                        Know
                                                                                        Trust
                                                                                        Rely
                                                                                        Commit
                                                                                        Touch
Like in any relationship, if you know someone then you will start to trust them then rely on them then the commitment comes in, lastly touching or the physical happens. I found this really interesting. I have seen this in my own life as well. When I skip a step i can see why it didn't work out. That is why dating is so essential in a relationship and when you meet someone. Dating is an opportunity to get to know someone as well as an opportunity to see how they interact in situations.

I am grateful for this lesson. It helped me realize what is important in a relationship and what I should always be looking for.

    Social Class is defined as "people having the same social, economic, or educational status." As discussed in class, a lot of people judge each other based on: possessions, appearance, education, jobs that they have, friends, activities, etc. WHY do we do this? Why is our social class so important? Why do we judge people by who they are because of money?

    Like this video with Tammy, even her own son is embarrassed by her own mother and talks bad about her when she is working hard, walks ten miles to work everyday and tries to provide for her sons, when her sons are just given everything. I have to admit that who in their right mind puts down their own mother as well as yells out the window to make fun of them. OK it is just crazyyy. I don't understand. People have feelings and people are people. Just because they don't have money or nice things doesn't mean they don't matter. THEY DO!!! They are trying to be better. Everyone has a past and everyone is effected by what their parents do. BUT at least some people try. If you were born into the upper middle class, of course you are given more chances, but if you were born in poverty or the working class, you wont. SO don't judge people.


    Furthermore, people can have a lot of money and not show it off and you can think they are poor, but in reality they are actually rich. In our society we have to learn to accept all people, to help others, to motivate, and INSPIRE. And just because you are born into a class doesn't mean that you are there forever. It's about your motivation, what you truly desire, and what you are willing to do to get there. But not everyone is the same. We all have different wants and goals and that's were we need not to judge but inspire and care for them anyways. That should be our goal in life....TO INSPIRE and TO HELP!!! WHAT ARE Y'ALL THOUGHTS?